|
100% TRUE
STORIES |
|
.Rascal |
|
STORIES Home Page
I
was brought up on a 200-acre horse and cow farm in southwestern Michigan in the 60s and
early-70s. I pretty much lived a young boy's dream. I was a cowboy. It
was my job to feed and water all the animals before I could eat and catch the bus to
school. In the evening, I'd jump on my horse and herd the cattle back into the barn.
I was even breaking horses (ok, ponies) by the time I was eight years
old.
We lived in the upstairs of the old-time
family farmhouse. The farm was owned by my great-aunt and great-uncle who had helped
raise my Dad. Dad called them Ma and Pa and they called him Sonny. My sister
and I called them Grandma and Grandpa. Grandpa had gone blind back in the 1920s
but, having been born in 1890, had some great stories about the oil rushes in Oklahoma and
Texas, which is where my Dad's family called home.
Being on such a farm, any boy will find all
manner of wild critters to drag into the house and beg to keep as a pet. However,
this tale regales a time when my Dad brought home the most interesting pet of my life.
A baby raccoon.
Dad had found it on
the side of the road on his way home from work at about 1:00 in the morning. The
coon, naturally named Rascal, stayed with us for the better part of three years and pretty
much had the run of the farm.
It was a great learning experience for a
kid. I got to watch first-hand how raccoons clean their food. I was amazed at
the dexterity with which they used their little hands and thumbs. I also noticed
that if there was ever a time that I couldn't find Rascal, all I had to do was check for
standing water and there he'd be.
One afternoon, my family was downstairs
visiting Grandma and Grandpa. In the course of the visit, Grandpa excused himself to
use the bathroom and made his way easily. Him being blind, the furniture had been in
the same place for some 40 years, so he knew exactly how many steps it took him to get
wherever he had to go.
We were continuing our visit with
Grandma when we heard a terrified yell come from the bathroom.
"SONNY!!" yelled
Grandpa.
"It's a rat! It's a rat! There's a sewer rat in the toilet!"
Dad hurried into the bathroom to kill the
vicious critter and keep Grandpa from being bitten. After just one
look at the rat, he was able to deduce the order of events that had taken
place.
Grandpa, being blind, had to sit down to do
any business in the bathroom. I suppose he could have stood up for one job,
tapping his cane to find the opening, but there would always be the chance of
finding the wrong opening and making an embarrassing mistake. So he just
sat down for everything.
On this memorable occasion,
he sat on the toilet and tucked himself
neatly inside. Unbeknownst to him, Rascal (the 'rat') was in the toilet playing in the water, and when
Grandpa sat down, all Rascal could see was another toy for him to play with.
Rascal reached up with those dexterous hands
of his and took a handful of what Grandpa cherished most. Needless to say,
he also had Grandpa's full attention. The 70-plus year-old blind man
moved faster than he had in years, charging out of the bathroom with his
pants around his ankles. His cherished boys, which Rascal had found
so alluring only seconds earlier, were also quite evident to our endless
chagrin.
Dad came back into the living room
roaring with laughter, with tears in his eyes and having to lean
on the wall to keep his balance.
Rascal stayed with us another year or two
after that but eventually came around less and less until he left and never returned.
But that little raccoon gave me one of the funniest memories of my life.
To this day, any member of my
immediate family can tell you this story. All you have to do is ask
about our pet raccoon.
STORIES Home
Page
|
